Today is December 9, 2010. Today marks two months since my grandmother passed away. Part of me still expects that when I am at my parents' house and the phone rings on a Sunday afternoon, it will be Grandma calling, wondering if we are there and if she could stop by because she hasn't seen us for a little while. It's weird how I still expect that.
People that know me, know that I have had an ongoing struggle with trying to make a pecan pie successfully. Over the years, they've mostly come out soupy in the middle. Great for serving on ice cream, very good flavor, but not how a pecan pie should turn out. Grandma even tried to teach me, bless her heart. That pie came out perfectly, but I'll be darned if I could get one to turn out right without her. As I was deciding what to contribute for the family meal to celebrate Thanksgiving, I decided I would again try to make a pecan pie. She was always the one bringing pecan pie, because hers was the best and always exactly right. I tried to figure out which of the many recipes in my grandmother's collection is the one she used, but I wasn't sure. So I searched online. Who knew you could get choked up looking for pie recipes.
I found a recipe and made the pie. Besides calling unnecessarily for a deep dish crust, the pie turned out great! The center set and it tasted pretty good, not like Grandma's of course, but still very tasty.
As I look forward to Christmas and the time for more celebration with family, I'm keenly aware of her absence. I miss her prayers (despite my constant questioning), I miss her oh so distinct laugh, I miss her attentiveness, her compassion, her deep love for all she encountered. I am very much looking forward to a good time with my brother and niece, especially since we've not had time with them in so long. I'm looking forward to going to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with my family there. Despite all of that, this holiday season also comes with sadness this year. I hope all of my friends and family know how incredibly important they are to me and that they are well loved and thought of. Celebrate the people you love, always, because as cliche as it sounds, you just never know when that time with them will be gone.
God bless,
amor y paz,
me
