A sense of normalcy

So life has been pretty crazy. I still don't have a place of my own and I'm pretty ready to have that. I am unbelievably grateful to my friends for letting me stay with them, I have amazing people in my life that have been wonderfully supportive, but I'm ready to move forward. I feel like that can't happen until I have a place to call my own, be it an apartment or a house.

Despite the upheaval and uncertainty, life is good. I have work, which is huge considering all of the insanity that is the current economy, so that is a good thing. My kids seem to be doing quite well considering how different things have been as well. I'm still not able to be with them as much as I would like, but it's just kind of necessary right now. If I'm ever going to get my own place, I have to work, but working of course takes time away from them. It's taking some getting used to, but overall it's a good thing. (I feel like Martha Stewart saying that.)

I'm healthier and happier AND I've lost weight, so that's pretty exciting too. Now all I need is a windfall of money so I can buy a new wardrobe. I have no ass in my jeans any more, it's kind of crazy. It's amazing what not sitting around eating all of the time and working at the bookstore has done for my body. I've got muscle in my arms and my legs. There's not nearly as much flab as there used to be and I didn't even realize it was happening. I'd been feeling good about myself, comfortable in my own body, but I have to say, this weight loss thing feels even better.

I'm feeling kind of random and scattered right now, in case it's not noticeable in my writing. I'm just feeling good, something I haven't felt on a consistent basis for a very long time. I don't have to be doing something in theater or out drinking with friends or avoiding my "normal" life to be happy. And that's what I'd been doing. It's so good to be happy. I have been smiling so much, it's kind of crazy.

Anywho, love and much thanks to all of my friends who've been so supportive and awesome. I wouldn't be here without you.

amor y paz,

me

¡Estoy muy frustrada!

So yesterday I got a job! Woot, I'm gainfully employed, that is so amazingly awesome.

Then this morning I go out to my car and the exhaust system is hanging off the bottom. Well fuck... I bought a new muffler Monday so I could replace the one that fell off last summer, but hadn't had a chance to put it on yet, so I suppose that's a good thing. Now I can return it because the mechanic won't use it. He said when they lifted the car up to look at it, the entire thing from the catalytic converter back just fell off. Well fuck even more! He said they're taking it to another place and it'll probably cost about $250 to put everything back on, but my understanding is that they're going to reattach everything. If I had to buy all new stuff, it'd cost way too much.

I'm so frustrated right now. So much money has been sunk into that car. It was well taken care of, but ya know, they offloaded it before all this stuff went to shit and I have to say I feel pretty damn cheated. I'm also frustrated because a better car could have been purchased for all the money that's been dumped into this one. Something newer with less issues... and I'm frustrated I let myself be talked out of taking that path.

I'm just pissed off and frustrated right now. Good news with the job, but then it's just more shit that I can't afford. I want to be able to save money to get my own place so that I can start having my kids with me and not have to be at the house. Yeah... so anywho, is it possible to be elated and totally pissed off all at the same time??


amor y paz,
me