Monday, September 1, 2008

Ambient noise

Is it possible for things to be silent, even if there are noises? This evening I was reading my book and kept thinking how quiet it feels. But does quiet have a feeling? I don't know if it does, but that's the only name I could really give to the way I'm feeling right now. There are crickets and cicadas and the cars out on the highway.... my refrigerator, the upstairs neighbor's TV that is always on till all hours of the night, only turned off when it's time for bed at which point NPR takes over. But still it feels silent.

There's no Godspell or talking in sleep from my children. There's no one's regular breathing of sleep, nor the creak of a water heater and pipes I'd taken for granted for so many years. Now there are new noises that don't seem like noise at all. Am I just weird? I suppose I am.

Today I took my kids for a picnic and one of my favorite places, a local river preserve. I knew we hadn't had rain in quite some time, but the stark reality of it hit me as I looked at the waterless waterfall. My children and I walked through the shallow water at the top searching for shells and sticks and rocks, the water barely reaching my knees. I often go there to take pictures of nature, to play with my camera and my ability to zoom, blah blah blah, but the things I normally love to take pictures of weren't there. It was depressing. Still we had fun, just a stark reality I wasn't prepared to see. Funny how we come across those moments when we least expect them, I suppose that's why they're unexpected, right?

The ambient noise of life is shifting. It's not a bad thing or a good thing per se, just a thing. I suppose I'll get used to it. Just another thing in the grand scheme of life that is changing. But I'm discovering almost daily that change is indeed a good thing.

amor y paz,


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