Friday, June 20, 2008

Worst day of my life

So as many of you have probably already surmised (I say that like I have some kind of huge following or something), I am getting a divorce. It's absolutely what needs to happen and I know it's for the best, but today was the day that we told our children. Shittiest person ever... that's how I have felt most of this day. I know without a doubt that this is what needs to happen, but watching my son cry and cover his head and say he didn't want to hear anymore... and my daughter cry and just want to be cuddled... it was awful.

It sucks when something I know is right, hurts so bad. Tonight, I am without my children. Things will never be the same. The house that I have lived in with them for the past almost 10 years, is no longer my home. That is such a weird feeling. Now I'm just kind of transient. I'm looking for a job and until I can find one, I have no definite place to stay. It should be an interesting next few weeks.

I'm generally not this blunt and unpoetic in my blogging, feels kind of weird, but this is something I just need to get out there. If you have any ideas about jobs (they pretty much need to be in Goshen), feel free to pass those ideas along. Apartments, also something I'll be looking for once the whole job thing happens.

Anywho, for those of you who already know and have offered words of support and friendship, I can't thank you enough. This has probably been the longest week of my life and the hugs and love expressed have been... I just can't truly express how much they've meant to me. So thank you. I do believe this whole blunt blogging thing will end with this, I'd like to go back to the more poetic me.... it's better that way.

con mucho amor y agradecimiento,


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